Modern Issues in the Transitions to Parenthood: Using Mindfulness to Stay Connected with Your Partner

Hi Everybody! One of my clients recently had a baby, and a few months ago she said something to the effect of, “My husband and I are really trying, but even so, it’s really hard to know what’s going on with each other! How on earth do couples stay connected after having a baby?” Such a great question! That sense of not really knowing what’s going on with your partner is one of the main...
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What do you do in EFT couples therapy?

Share Hi Everyone! I’m always looking for ways to explain and talk about what happens in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) so I was really excited recently when a colleague sent me this clip of a variety show that aired in the early 1950′s called “Your Show of Shows”.  Among the sketches, it featured a couple played by Sid Caeser and Imogene Coca.  I’m so...
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A Shout Out to all Men coming to Couples Therapy! (especially with a female therapist)

Hi Everyone! Share Yesterday I was meeting with my Perinatal Consultation group and our topic for the month was “Postpartum Couples”.  We had a really interesting discussion about some of the relationship patterns that we commonly see in couples struggling with the transition to parenthood.  Postpartum women feeling incredibly angry with their male partners was discussed at length,...
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“Your task is not to seek for love….”

Share Hi Everybody! This past week I volunteered at a conference for psychotherapists learning the model of couples therapy I practice called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). I attended this same 4 day conference approximately 2 years ago when I was learning the model for the first time, and it drastically changed (for the better!) the way I understand couples relationships, as well as...
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“You scowl because you have indigestion, and fourteen people feel inadequate”

Share Hi Everyone! As a couples therapist, the question of “fault” comes up quite frequently.  Couples in distress are typically wondering – which one of us is “the problem”?  Who caused the last fight we had?  Much energy is spent either blaming oneself and feeling terrible or blaming one’s partner and feeling angry and hopeless.  In Buddhist psychology,...
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Basic Goodness: The Practice that makes all the difference in conflict

ShareHi Everyone! In my 10 week group, The Mindful Couple, we just finished week 5 and in this round of the group I’ve introduced the concept and practice of Basic Goodness. Basic Goodness is a concept in Buddhist philosophy that teaches that all human beings have the capacity to “wake up” to the present moment, and see ourselves and reality in a clear way. The words...
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