The Hypothetical Attachment Mix Tape: Track 1 “The Glory of Love”

Posted by on Jun 30, 2015 in relationships | 0 comments

ShareHi Everyone! I just watched the movie Beaches starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey for the first time in a decade!  If you’ve never seen it, its probably one of the sweetest and most sad films made about long-term friendship ever made, but so poignant and a beautiful example of love and commitment and adult attachment.  After watching the film again, I became a little obsessed with one of the songs in the film performed by Bette Midler at the end called “The Glory of Love”. My therapist friends and I are always...

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“Your task is not to seek for love….”

Posted by on Jun 23, 2015 in couples, relationships, therapy | 0 comments

Share Hi Everybody! This past week I volunteered at a conference for psychotherapists learning the model of couples therapy I practice called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). I attended this same 4 day conference approximately 2 years ago when I was learning the model for the first time, and it drastically changed (for the better!) the way I understand couples relationships, as well as how I understand myself and my relationship with my husband. It was really nice to be a volunteer at the conference because it allowed me to attend...

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“You scowl because you have indigestion, and fourteen people feel inadequate”

Posted by on Jun 16, 2015 in communication, couples, relationships, therapy | 0 comments

Share Hi Everyone! As a couples therapist, the question of “fault” comes up quite frequently.  Couples in distress are typically wondering – which one of us is “the problem”?  Who caused the last fight we had?  Much energy is spent either blaming oneself and feeling terrible or blaming one’s partner and feeling angry and hopeless.  In Buddhist psychology, the concept of “no self” is something I have found both liberating and confusing, but one piece of this concept that can be readily...

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“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Posted by on Jun 14, 2015 in communication, couples, relationships | 0 comments

Share Hi Everyone! It’s been far too long since I’ve posted here! I was inspired to start writing again by a disturbing but very educational experience I had recently. A few weeks ago, I attended a conference for psychotherapists to learn a model of therapy called Functional Analytic Psychotherapy.  I was expecting it to be a typical conference where there are a series of presentations with me taking notes – like a big classroom. Instead, it turned out to be a VERY experiential conference with a set of exercises where the...

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The Appropriate Response

Posted by on Dec 14, 2014 in communication, happiness, psychology, relationships | 0 comments

ShareHi Everyone! I’m up early today because I am going to a “One Day Sit” – a day of meditation through Vipassana Illinois. This is the same organization that I did my first 10 day meditation retreat with this summer, and once you complete that experience, you are eligible to do shorter meditation retreats. (yay!) I’ve been thinking about how I want to deepen my practice, how much it has helped me, and habits of mind, emotional reactions, etc that I still want to work with in myself in preparation for today. In...

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Advanced Consultation and Training in Postpartum Mental Health for Psychotherapists!

Posted by on Nov 16, 2014 in couples, parent-infant relationships, post-partum depression, Women's health and well-being | 0 comments

perinatal_consultation_group flyer ShareHi Everyone! I am excited to announce that I am starting a consultation and study group for psychotherapists interested in furthering their skills, knowledge, and expertise in working with postpartum women and their families! I am so passionate about my work with women and families transitioning into parenthood as it is such a poignant time of change, joy, sadness, struggle, and growth that remains largely misunderstood in our culture.  For psychotherapists interested in working with this population,...

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Basic Goodness: The Practice that makes all the difference in conflict

Posted by on Nov 9, 2014 in communication, couples, psychology, relationships, therapy | 1 comment

ShareHi Everyone! In my 10 week group, The Mindful Couple, we just finished week 5 and in this round of the group I’ve introduced the concept and practice of Basic Goodness. Basic Goodness is a concept in Buddhist philosophy that teaches that all human beings have the capacity to “wake up” to the present moment, and see ourselves and reality in a clear way. The words “basic goodness” translate to “complete – nothing wrong, and nothing lacking, just as you are”. The practice of Basic Goodness is a...

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The Wisdom of No Escape – Post-Vipassana Meditation Course Reflections

Posted by on Sep 1, 2014 in happiness, psychology, therapy | 1 comment

ShareHi Everyone! I returned home from the 10 Day Vipassana Meditation course this past Sunday. Its taken me awhile to digest all that I learned and experienced over these 10 days of complete silence, reflection, and meditation and I am sure I will continue to digest things and realize more and more as I continue my meditation practice on a daily basis. When people ask me how it was, my answer is that it was equal parts wonderful and horrible. Luckily, right before I left for the retreat, one of my mentors suggested when things get tough that...

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Vipassana Meditation Retreat – Reflections Before!

Posted by on Aug 13, 2014 in happiness, psychology | 0 comments

ShareHi Everyone! This afternoon I am on my way to Pecotonica, IL for my first extended meditation retreat. The retreat is a 10 day experience where you commit to observing noble silence with your fellow students for the first 9 days, and meditate for a total of 10 hours per day interspersed with breaks, meals, and a daily lecture. The type of meditation that is taught is called Vipassana meditation where your mind and body are used as tools to develop insight into the nature of experience. Some of the things people frequently notice with...

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How do you let go of “being right” during a fight?

Posted by on Jul 17, 2014 in communication, couples, happiness, psychology, relationships, therapy | 1 comment

Share Yesterday I saw a clip on Good Morning America about rules to follow when you are fighting with your partner. It got me thinking about how I handle myself in my relationships and the couples that I work with in my practice who are working to improve their relationships. The reality is that most people know these rules already – stay calm, listen to the other person’s perspective, try not to be defensive, etc. We even use these “rules” (or skills really) in other situations and in other relationships at work or...

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