#2 Modern Issues in the Transitions to Parenthood: Dealing with Judgment!

Posted by on Dec 5, 2016 in communication, family, post-partum depression, psychology, relationships, Women's health and well-being | 0 comments

Most people have heard the quote, “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle” (J.M. Barrie) but what does that really mean? When I think of battles, I think about the most common “battle” we are fighting on a daily basis, which is the “fight” to feel OK about ourselves! Brene Brown has famously called this “the hustle for worthiness” in her research, and in my experience, the journey of parenthood, more often than not, is a real hustle to “be a good parent” (which often is...

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Attachment Mix Tape Track #6 – “Flagship” by Jason Isbell

Posted by on Nov 21, 2016 in Attachment Mix Tape/Playlist, couples, relationships | 0 comments

Share Hi Everybody! I recently discovered the artist, Jason Isbell, on the NPR podcast, All Songs Considered. I love this song by him essentially recognizing the preciousness of what he shares with his partner now and seeing the negative impact of not taking care of his relationship over time. One of the best lines of the song is about a couple he observes across the room: “She’s got nothing left to learn about his heart, They’re sitting there a thousand miles apart.” This song resonates with me personally and...

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Modern Issues in the Transitions to Parenthood: Using Mindfulness to Stay Connected with Your Partner

Posted by on Oct 26, 2016 in communication, couples, relationships, therapy | 1 comment

Hi Everybody! One of my clients recently had a baby, and a few months ago she said something to the effect of, “My husband and I are really trying, but even so, it’s really hard to know what’s going on with each other! How on earth do couples stay connected after having a baby?” Such a great question! That sense of not really knowing what’s going on with your partner is one of the main things that can drive disconnection in the immediate months and years after a baby enters a family. Becoming a parent is such a massive life change...

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Attachment Mix Tape – Track #5 “You were always on my Mind”

Posted by on May 2, 2016 in Attachment Mix Tape/Playlist, communication, couples, relationships | 0 comments

ShareHi Everybody! Last week a colleague sent me a link to a blog called “Must Be This Tall to Ride” It’s written by a man whose wife divorced him to his great surprise. The blog is about all the relationship lessons and things about himself he has learned in the wake of this painful break-up. I’m so moved by his courage to share in this way and to look back at the ways he got stuck in a negative cycle with his wife where he ended up dismissing her feelings and causing her to feel...

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The Attachment Mix Tape Track 4: The Fourth of July

Posted by on Mar 22, 2016 in Attachment Mix Tape/Playlist, relationships | 0 comments

ShareHi Everyone! Over the summer, I discovered the album, Carrie and Lowell, the latest recording of artist, Sufjan Stevens. I really love the entire album – all the songs are beautiful and calming, but then I learned more of the background story of Sufjan Stevens and the inspiration for the album, and it became even more meaningful to me. Stevens was abandoned by his mother, Carrie, as a young child. Carrie struggled with mental illness and drug addiction and didn’t feel she could care for her children so left them with their...

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What do you do in EFT couples therapy?

Posted by on Mar 10, 2016 in communication, couples, relationships, therapy | 0 comments

Share Hi Everyone! I’m always looking for ways to explain and talk about what happens in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) so I was really excited recently when a colleague sent me this clip of a variety show that aired in the early 1950′s called “Your Show of Shows”.  Among the sketches, it featured a couple played by Sid Caeser and Imogene Coca.  I’m so impressed with the show’s ability to portray the dynamics of a couple having an argument and also make it funny!  This clip is a sketch called...

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The Attachment Mix Tape – Track 3: How Deep is your Love?

Posted by on Jan 16, 2016 in Attachment Mix Tape/Playlist, communication, couples | 0 comments

ShareHi Everyone! I hope your January is going well so far! One thing that happened in 2015 is my beloved iPod (the classic) was stolen after someone broke into my car. (Lesson learned – never leave anything of value in your car!) After this, I had one of my first, and I know it won’t be my last, “old person” moments where I learned they don’t make the iPod classic anymore (what?!!) because of low sales. Apparently, everyone’s been streaming their music while I was listening to the good ole mp3 making the...

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Welcoming the New Year with a Plan for Joy and Fulfillment!

Posted by on Jan 1, 2016 in happiness, psychology | 0 comments

ShareHey Everybody! It’s time to say good-bye to 2015!  Often the start of a new year prompts reflection, and the setting of resolutions – usually things we want to change about ourselves or our habits to be “better”.  While this can be a positive thing, and setting realistic goals for ourselves can be a powerful motivator, I’ve started shifting things slightly for myself in the last few years by making a “Plan for Joy and Fulfillment” each year.  I got this idea from Brene Brown in her book,...

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The Hypothetical Attachment Mix Tape: Track 2 “The Heart of the Matter”

Posted by on Oct 10, 2015 in happiness, relationships | 0 comments

ShareHi Everybody! One of the wonderful things about my job as a psychotherapist is that I learn from my clients all the time and they are always inspiring me and sharing great ideas for coping and resilience. This past week a client was talking about some ideas for fostering self-compassion. She asked me, “do you know that song? It goes, Forgiveness….Forgiveness”? and she sang this little bit of the song’s chorus. “Oh yeah! The Don Henley song!” I responded, recognizing the refrain. She then told me she had...

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A Shout Out to all Men coming to Couples Therapy! (especially with a female therapist)

Posted by on Jul 11, 2015 in couples, post-partum depression, relationships, therapy | 1 comment

Hi Everyone! Share Yesterday I was meeting with my Perinatal Consultation group and our topic for the month was “Postpartum Couples”.  We had a really interesting discussion about some of the relationship patterns that we commonly see in couples struggling with the transition to parenthood.  Postpartum women feeling incredibly angry with their male partners was discussed at length, as well as the ways men typically respond to the anger directed at them.  In my experience, men are generally taken off guard, confused, hurt,...

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